My strength, my weakness - Myers-Briggs results and being 'soft'
We are a product of our DNA. And we are a product of our environment and our upbringing. This we know. Much is talked about the former. “You laugh just like your Mum”. “That’s something my Father would have said”. “You are the spitting image of your Granny”
The latter is where the lottery kicks in.
Where we are shaped by what we see & hear. What we feel.
What we learn. What we hope to remember. What we can’t forget.
The people with whom we interact at home, in school and thereafter will ultimately shape us into who we are. Making us even more unique than our DNA itself could achieve in science.
But enough of my amateur psychobabble.
I know from my own experience how I have been affected by events. Incidents that when they happened, seemed immaterial yet I now know have formed a lasting impression on my psyche. That have stuck doggedly in my brain like a tattoo on skin. That I am only now addressing.
One such occurrence was when I was on a management course and we were being assessed as a group with Myers-Briggs. We all completed the personality tests and had 1-2-1 meetings thereafter to discuss the results.
This will come as no surprise to you but I celebrated the positive aspects and laser-focused on the areas where I was on the ‘extreme’ end of something that seemed to indicate a weakness or a failing.
I was not as direct as others and I could be overly compassionate.
I read that as ‘soft’. It didn’t land well with me.
I worked in very traditional and male-dominated environments. No surprise, of course, in the baby boomer years. ‘Soft’ was NOT a good word.
But as I soaked up the words on the report, I looked around at the others. The ones who seemed to like conflict. Where politics and silo-ism dominated and shaped behaviour.
From that day on, I felt different. And not in a good way. I had what was perceived to be (by foolish and naïve me, of course) a crack in my armour. A fatal flaw. I was imperfect and was not moulded in the manner of a bold and upright leader of people. One who would not waver and would lead with strength and with the imbued confidence expected of a person in a position of responsibility.
I didn’t feel like I was part of that group. I felt that they would see it in me. And it stung.
Don’t get me wrong – no one told me I was ‘soft’ – I self-anointed with that very title.
It was only when I retired and began to speak to people in the company about my career and our experience together that I realised that I had got it all wrong. People appreciated the ‘human’ and personal way that I had worked. They seemed to see no weakness at all. Quite the reverse.
I have many opportunities to write these days and this is one that has been sitting in my ‘to do list’ to put into words since 2024. When I started scribbling potential titles for my book.
“My Strength, My Weakness”. It was on the cutting room floor. Incomplete and it was going nowhere.
It is now July 2026, and it suddenly this orphan of a work suddenly has meaning.
I am not a professional poet, but I do pride myself on being able to communicate how ‘I’ feel.
These are my words. Call me ‘soft’ if you will. I will take as a compliment and I shall continue to be (unapologetically) ‘me’ till I die.
My Strength, My Weakness
I thought it was my weakness,
It played upon my mind,
Being overly compassionate,
Was not the virtue that you’d find.
In one who was meant to be a leader
With rod of iron in spine,
Who will direct the troops with fortitude,
With the steel that’s not in mine.
It seemed to seep into my bones
Infect my very being,
Sat in a cloud above my head,
Prevented me from seeing.
The reality I had overlooked,
That seemed invisible to me,
Lack of inner confidence,
Masked the good I’d failed to see.
But something happened latterly,
That turned things upside down,
From the openness that I shared with you,
And the wisdom that I’ve found.
These lessons learned so late in life,
Have put right my misconception,
These weaknesses that I fret about,
Are my strength - not my imperfection.
Alan Sowersby Dale House 7th July 2026 (edited from version December 2024)
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